FlirtySomething is premised on the notion that flirting is a good thing, an art and a science both, a way for two people to communicate beyond words, and often preceding and over-riding words.

Flirting involves body language. According to experts, women are masters of body language. They have approximately 52 moves to show men that they are interested. Men only have 10 to attract a female!

Subconscious triggers play a major role in the dating game, governing how we see each other. You’ve had a great time emailing, chatting, and talking on the phone. You like what you read in each other’s photos and profile text. You may even have been privy to a person’s website or blog replete with more visuals and text. You’re really excited to be meeting in person.

But guess what? You’re still going on a blind date. You will not have really communicated until you speak to each other using body language.

Here’s a short FlirtySomething treatise on body language for you to adapt to your personal style and situation, and to utilize when you finally book a face-to-face with someone you meet on FlirtySomething:

• Most experts agree it takes us between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if we’re attracted to someone; and most of it doesn’t rest on a witty one-liner.

• 55% comes through body language

• 38% is from tone, speed and inflection of voice.

• A mere 7% is from what we’re actually saying!

So, how do we tell if our body is sending the right signals and how to read theirs? Let your body do the talking (and the flirting) by learning to recognize the 5 signals that someone is flirting with you:

1. The flirting triangle. When we look at people we’re not familiar with (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose.

With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth.

Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we’ll look from eye to eye - and the more time we’ll spend looking at their mouth.

If someone is watching your mouth while you’re talking to them, it can be very, very seductive. It could be that they’re imagining what it would be like to kiss you.

2. Mirroring. This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more effectively than mirroring someone’s behavior. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you pause then follow suit.

Capture the spirit rather than mimicking them. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.

3. The eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we’re attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are similarly attracted, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It’s not surprising since the whole thing lasts only about a fifth of a second!

We’re not consciously aware of doing it, but it’s a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on Earth. In fact, some experts claim it’s the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of greeting used by humans.

The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone you fancy. Better still, tell them you’re interested on a subconscious level by prolonging your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact.

4. Pointing. Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we’re interested in. If we find someone attractive, we’ll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes.

Again, it’s an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why.

5. Blinking. If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you’re talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they’ll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!

Thanks to Tracey Cox on Flirting and Body Language for this info. Now, get out there and put it to use!

Bookmark It

Trackback URI | Comments RSS