People who cling to the old ways of doing things, including dating, are missing the boat. The 21st century has arrived, and going into its second decade promises to be nearly as apocalyptic as science fiction writers have been imagining for years.

FlirtySomething’s Queen Bee suggests that flexibility, romance, and chocolate are three excellent coping mechanisms for many of the most challenging changes facing us today. For more on this, check out an article recently posted on the Huffington Post which argues that the growth of the online dating industry and the record profits reported by Hershey’s amidst this dismal economic downturn are sane responses to a world gone a bit out of whack.

Change begins at home with our individual spending habits, the daily choices we make. Will I jump in my gas guzzler and go shopping to relieve the emptiness I am feeling? Will I grab a $3 coffee and $2.50 pastry plus tip to tide me over until dinner, which will be eaten out at roughly twice the price it would cost for the same or better meal at home? Will I conspicuously consume, just because I still sorta can, even with so many people suffering, people I know and strangers in the news and on the street. Do I really want to go on that dream vacation now? Or even that dream date?

Can I truly relax and enjoy personal extravagances, even if I can “afford” them, given my underlying angst about what’s happening on the home front — the broken health care system that wants to cancel my friend’s insurance because he had the audacity to have a heart attack, California’s looming bankruptcy and the decimation of public education and the many other implications of that?

Instead of resorting to the old ways, I choose to think global and act local. Conserve. Plant a victory garden. Help friends and family in the ways that I can. And offer up a new, more efficient and value-driven dating site for good people running out of patience for costly first dates that go nowhere fast.

The correlation between the increasing numbers of laid-off Americans and the rising numbers of personal ads on Craigslist and Match.com tell only part of the story. As the number of laid-off American workers grows, personal ads on Craig’s list are at an all time high. EHarmony and Match.com reported a steady increase in registrations during 2008 and along with that a steady increase in profits. A now famous post from website Gawker noted, “Just got laid off, now looking to get laid.” It doesn’t get more honest than that.

So online dating is now being touted as “recession proof.” But it seems that the old dating sites are delivering matches, but not alternatives to the costly process of conventional dating and courtship that they seem to engender. In fact, the biggest recession-proof consumer product is good old Hershey’s chocolate. Chocoholics are coming out of the woodwork and running straight for their Kit Kats in large numbers. While nibbling, many are likely thinking, “How do I meet men/women without breaking the bank?”

Hershey’s stock is up. In fact, Kit Kat , a product of the Great Depression, is having a major resurgence, as is a good, cheap bottle of wine. Think two buck Chuck. Trader Joe’s can barely keep it in stock; it’s flying off the shelves.

What’s the upside? Quite striking to the Queen Bee, the recession has forced us to realign our priorities in very rational, compassionate, and sustainable ways. As Mary Hall points out on Huffington Post, “Quite simply people are feeling more vulnerable than ever, and one of the best ways to minimize stress and anxiety is seeking comfort in being with friends and lovers. This may be the one upside of the downturn.”

Perhaps we will all learn to reach out to others a bit more, rediscover simple pleasures and become more selective in our relationships. After all, no one has extra money any more to date people that they may have clicked with online but aren’t clicking with in real time over a $50+ dinner. Most people can’t afford to go that route in dating any longer. Nor can they really afford Match.com and eHarmony’s pricey subscription rates month after month.

The recession may just prove to be one of the best ways to refine our tastes, strengthen our relationships and perhaps discover a better vehicle to drive dating. (Hint: FlirtySomething.com) Huzzah, huzzah!

Please share with FlirtySomething the ways that the recession has caused you to re-imagine dating!

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