Love Lessons 4 & 5 From the Obama’s
September 2nd, 2010 by Queen Bee
Again, thanks to Dr. Ian Kerner, CNBC relationship guru for leading me down this path.
4. Opposites attract! Anyone who has read Obama’s memoir, Dreams From My Father, knows that his childhood was anything but “typical.” His mother and father were divorced when he was a baby. He is bi-racial and grew up largely in Hawaii under the joint supervision and tutelage of his mother and maternal grandparents. During one period, he moved to Indonesia with his mother to live with his new stepfather. That marriage also ended in divorce. He then returned to Hawaii where he remained through high school, mostly in the care of his grandparents. Barack Obama notes: “Michelle’s family life was different, very stable, with two parents, a stay-at-home mom, a brother, a dog, that kind of thing. They’ve lived in the same house all their lives … a part of me was wondering what a strong, reassuring family life would look like while Michelle, in a way, wanted to break from that model.”
Opposites attract. Something to keep in mind when sifting through FlirtySomething profiles. You may think you want someone with your same background, but perhaps when it comes down to it, the real chemistry is in the mix. Which is why so many of the first generation “niche” dating sites are foundering. I think the online dating market has spoken, and it says it’s looking for diversity.
5. Be a relationship role model. Those in a relationship, and those looking for a soul mate need to think long and hard about this lesson. Love relationships should be a model of just that: two people respecting and caring for each other. Absent that, what you have is people saying one thing (”I love you”) and doing another — which makes everybody crazy.
People treating each other rudely under the cover of relative anonymity on online dating sites is a most unfortunate and unintended consequence. FlirtySomething is all about innovations in online dating that enable and reward better behavior. So, whether you meet your soul mate or not, you build a good reputation in the FlirtySomething community when you treat others well. What we say in our personal profiles — e.g. “I am a sensitive, spiritual soul…blah blah blah” — is not nearly as important as how we actually treat each other. Kindness, compassion, truthfulness — all of these qualities are contagious. As Kerner points out, “It’s no surprise that the Obama children beam with life. They have happy parents who aren’t afraid to show their love to each other. And that love is contagious.”












