Let me tell you about Megan. When she moves, it's an elegant, elongated, wavy-haired, tawny-skinned, head-turning event. A dream girl, and she liked me. After meeting at a speed dating event, we made a date.
When I showed up 20 minutes late, she was already seated at a table. Absolutely gorgeous. I apologized profusely. She smiled sweetly and seemingly unfazed said, "Don't worry about it, it's over."
Understanding. Gorgeous and nice!
She asked the waiter for a Long Island Iced Tea and I was pleased to see she wanted to loosen up. We ordered and ate. I had noodles. She had lobster and a whisky sour. So far the head math was over $80.00. Call me a cheapskate, but we still had dessert to go.
She ordered another $8 Long Island.
Among her other attributes, I loved Megan's warm deep gaze. But now it had become a cold stare.
'Alex?' She asked.
'Yes?'
'I've never had alcohol before. I'm gonna be sick.' Next thing she stood up and ran to the door. I guess it looked like we were having a quarrel. I ran after her.
Out in the parking lot, between heaves, Megan said, "Listen, Alex I like you a lot. I think you're smart and you really turn me on. But you made me wait. And my mom told me that if any man makes me wait for him, I should spend as much of his money as I can."
She puked on my crotch. Blew lobster chunks.
A splashing sound, warm and wet.
She pinched my cheek and with fish puke whisky breath, and said
"NOW WE'RE EVEN." She stumbled to her bike and wobbled down the street. My balls smelled like stomach acid.
I yelled out, 'I'll call you later!' She honked a silly bike horn and turned a corner.
That's how you fall in love on the first date.
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